5.20.2013...

the past couple weeks i've found myself thinking back to this time 18 years ago...

i was 17, one of the youngest in my graduating class.  hair long and curly, bangs i forced to curl under to be like everyone else, the shortest one in my class of 66, determined to take on the world yet hiding a fear of the unknown to anyone who asked what my plans were.  i was a 13-year senior...one of many in the LHS class of 1995.  we were a close group, most of us friends from before kindergarten and some second-generation friends from parents who had also grown up in those same halls we walked for four years.  i have no doubt we thought we were special - maybe that's typical for the age, but looking back i'm pretty certain we each thought we had it all figured out, or at least pretended that we did.  little did we know, the things that would ultimately make us special were the friendships we made in those years spent there - friendships that, to me, have become family.  invincible as only teenagers can be, we each laid a plan for the next few years of our lives - for most of us this meant college, and for many of us, the first time leaving our little town.  my own plan changed many times over the next few years leading me ultimately to las vegas - someplace i can guarantee no one i grew up with ever thought i would be!  we crossed another stage, taking another piece of paper and started off on the next chapter of our lives.  weddings, houses, babies and jobs became the focus for many of us.  life took us in various directions in our 20's...some moved around, some settled down...conversations surface-level much of the time because we had yet to find the common ground that would, in time, help us see just how blessed we were.  by our 30's each of us had experienced a little more...life.  and by 34, the original group of friends i started my life with had found our way back to each other. 
 
this weekend i was blessed to celebrate with four high school graduates...each of them holding a different, yet very special, place in my heart.  one i've known literally since the day she was born...her mom and i friends our entire lives.  watching the pictures flip past on her slideshow i saw images of me holding her and realized not only how much (and how quickly) time had passed, but that in different ways we grew up together in those first years.  with a heart for christ like none i've ever seen, she knows her path and will walk it with grace.  the second, a cousin...oddly, not by blood, yet i was there, too, the day she was born.  smart and funny, she knows a lot more about life - and loss - than anyone her age should.  she has a spirit that is contagious and i pray she holds fast to the plans she is making because i have no doubt there are great things ahead for her.  the third, the only boy in the group...a young man i've known less than two years yet love like it's been a lifetime.  this kid could do anything he puts his mind to...he is driven and smart, but in unconventional ways.  his heart is huge and his will is strong...i pray he never loses either.  in him i see so much and hope he never loses sight of who he is or everything he is capable of.  the fourth, a young lady i first met when she was nine when her family moved in across the street.  it's no secret i love her like my own...i've laughed with her and i've cried with her...worried about her and prayed for her; and last night, watched her cross that stage next to her mom feeling almost as proud of "our" girl.

i've learned many lessons over the past 18 years...most of which hinge on the basis of relationships.  the people in my life mean more to me than any job, house or car.  i'm the first to encourage all teenagers to go to college...not just for the education, but more so for the experience.  honestly, the only real advice i can give is to live your life...it truly is the journey, not the destination that matters...feel every bit of it - not just the good parts - the unbelievably painful ones too; they will shape you in ways you can't imagine...ask questions and seek answers...be true to yourself, respect yourself and demand the same from others...be open to new things - foods, places, people, experiences - all of it; you never know who or what you might gain...give more than you take...find something you're passionate about and learn everything you can about it...and, surround yourself with people who make you a better person.  and, when you get hurt or disappointed - which you will...more times than you think you can handle...give yourself a break and then choose to find happiness again.  life is too short to waste it on those who don't matter - in any given situation.  live a life you're proud of and find your purpose; whatever it may be.