Sunday, January 13, 2013

1.13.2013...

It's funny the things that make a day perfect...Sunday dinner...roast, salad, bread, a bottle of wine....four games of UNO...pillow fights and an incredible amount of laughter. Maybe it was having others to cook for or someone to open the wine...maybe it was having someone to bump into in the kitchen or hearing praise for something so carefully prepared. Or, maybe it was hearing voices other than our own; simple conversation and four people to play a game rather than just two. I honestly don't know, but it was nice, whatever it was.
I miss Sunday dinner...of course, in our family those were usually held right after church around Gran's table. My sense of belonging, my view of family were shaped in those moments. Through stories shared over food prepared purposefully with loving hands we learned where we came from, what made us the family we were. We learned manners and the value of one more chair at the table because somehow there was always enough no matter who came.
I am missing her right now...I'm not sure that will ever fully go away, in fact, I'm fairly certain it won't. I am wishing she had kept diaries so I could somehow know her just a little better. I would like to think there are more similarities than differences between us, but as time passes, I fear that is just my way of hanging onto her.
But tonight, I think I got a small glimpse of what she maybe felt as we were there in her home, around her table...I remember her smile, her bright blue eyes...quietly taking it (us) all in not needing to say much but rather feeling all the love around her...and I now understand why she was so willing to do it week after week...what she gave in those moments was nothing compared to what she received...

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