"we do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
- e.e. cummings
for me, these words are absolute truth. i have always needed, craved even, acceptance and encouragement. my greatest demon is the fear of being, the belief i'm not, enough. it is my fallback, my default, when something doesn't work out...especially when it comes to people. i hate this part of me....hate that i automatically retreat inward when something goes wrong or when i'm told i can't do something, can't have something/someone. i immediately look to what could possibly be wrong with me rather than accepting that some things just aren't meant to happen or figure out how to work harder to do better. i'm not proud of this. i feel it makes me weak...lowers my potential and ultimately puts me in a position to not become everything i'm supposed to. i spend too much time focusing on what's wrong with me and feeling sorry for myself rather than stepping up and simply doing better or accepting that because something didn't work doesn't mean i'm somehow less valuable. it's a flaw of mine and one i'm constantly working on.
but, why is it that most of us need someone else to point out our strengths, our beauty, our worth? why is it so hard to simply see those things within ourselves and not need others to validate them to make them real to us? is it possible to see our own potential? is it possible to look in the mirror and not see only the self-perceived flaws? can we walk past a window and see our reflection and smile because we know everything we hold inside, seeing only the things that make us beautiful, that make us unique?
maybe what we should do is stop looking so much at ourselves, take the focus off of that which is undesirable about us and take the time to point out all of the things that make those around us beautiful, unique, valuable.
"intense love does not measure, it just gives."
- mother teresa
i'm not saying we shouldn't look inward, shouldn't try to be the best we can be, but maybe if we take the time to see the good in others we may not be so focused on the things we THINK make us less.
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