i have a problem with anger. for some reason i can't hold onto it. i want to, good lord i want to, but i've never been able to. most people have a problem with anger management...now, don't get me wrong, i'm a redhead so i have a hot temper when i'm pushed far enough. but, it is quick and doesn't last and then it's replaced with hurt feelings which do nothing but cloud my judgement on a situation because i become too emotional. my anger then spills down my cheeks and i tend to forget the real focus of my frustration and i'm left "feeling" too much instead of figuring out the best way to deal with whatever happened in the first place. sometimes i really wish i wasn't so emotional. i think i've read too many things that say stuff about life being too short to stay angry and that it's more important to forgive and move on...well, sometimes that's just crap. sometimes it's okay to just be angry...to let the disappointment and frustration and hurt be what it is - anger. but then what? what do you do with that anger? where does that get you? i feel like it's important to have conversations that need to be had...to say whatever it is that needs to be said rather than "fight" with silent treatment. in all honesty, while i am an extremely - i can't stress this enough - extremely non-confrontational person, i am finally at a point in my life where i would rather just have the tough conversation, or even a fight if that's what's necessary, and get it over with. sitting and stewing (thank you for that word, gran) is terrible for my anxious temperament. my mind creates all sorts of assumptions when i have nothing but silence to work with and that's the worst.
but i guess maybe the underlining point is this...why do we hurt each other? especially those we care about the most? why do we do hurtful things and not apologize, or not expect there to be any consequences? why do we treat others any different than we expect to be treated ourselves? maybe it's a lack of communication or unmet expectations...maybe it's that sometimes things just aren't meant to work no matter how hard we try.
i think that's what life's too short for...unsaid apologies, unmet expectations, miscommunication that is never resolved, poor intentions... friends...be more mindful of your actions and the impact they have on others. choose kindness whenever possible and make a point to genuinely repair a relationship when you've caused someone pain. we only get so many chances...
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